SENSATION
Sex doesn’t have to be hard and unpleasant
Every time my partner and I go on a date, I tell myself that we’re just seeing each other for fun. I don’t have a relationship goal, I’m just doing the fun thing, and I’m not looking to commit. I’m also not trying to make a big deal out of it. I never saw getting to know a new person as a competition and I refuse to treat it as one.
Here are 5 tips to keep in mind when dating:
1. Read up on someone before you go on a date
Dating apps like Tinder make it tempting to just swipe left or right without fully getting to know a person. But unless you know a person personally, it’s probably a good idea to do your research—and not only on their dating profile.
Check out their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and check them out on OKCupid.com. The more you know about your date, the easier it will be for you to decide if you want to see them again. Maybe you’ll find a few similarities in likes or dislikes, or maybe you’ll hit a wall and realize you have little in common. Or maybe you discover that you’re both into the same band, or you both love the same actor.
Don’t be afraid to dig for the full picture, and remember that the goal isn’t to form an emotional attachment with someone before the date. You could be right for each other and just feel like you just need to know who they really are outside their dating profile, and you might have a better idea of what they’re really like after a few weeks of talking together. So do some research and don’t wait until the last minute to do it, just a few days before the date will suffice.
2. Be aware of your ego
You might think that you’ll feel better about yourself after a first date, but you actually might feel worse. Remember that you’re putting yourself out there, and you might be the subject of judgment and gossip. You’re likely to behave different than you do in a normal everyday environment.
Knowing that you’re being judged can be nerve-wracking, but you can handle it and, more importantly, keep it in perspective. You’re just seeing a person for the first time, and if they seem to be a good match, you may be pleased with yourself if you’ve made the first move, https://www.1st-4-dating.com/best-adult-dating-and-sex-tourism-hook-up-while-traveling.html
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You want to find the man or woman who gets you. There’s no mystery about that. The trick to finding the person who can hit it off with you and on your level is to play your strengths. If you like sports, for example, make sure you say so. If you like keeping up with the latest music and movies, make sure you mention it. If you’re educated, say it. If you’re funny, say it. And if you get people going with a joke, say it.
You don’t have to be a particularly funny person to be funny. All it takes is interest.
But do it in a subtle way, and in the right context. While saying you’re a liberal who loves Tolstoy is a terrific first date topic, it can also suggest you’re so full of political correctness that you can’t even tell someone that you listen to the Beatles. (Try listening to the Beatles with your date. How’d that work out for you?)
If you want to find the person who’s going to like you just as much as you like them, practice “playing your strengths.” There are two main ways to do this:
1. Look at what you like about yourself. While out with your friends or with people you’re interested in, take a few minutes to think about what you like about yourself. There’s nothing you can do about any shortcomings, but there’s plenty you can do about your strengths. Start by thinking about your positive attributes, and then work your way toward your flaws. Really think about how you come across to others. Did you ever get the feeling that you were being underestimated? One great thing about looking at your strengths is that you are encouraged to be more of yourself. Instead of tamping down who you really are, you can show people who you really are and how you really tick. This is an awesome opening to sharing yourself with someone else.
If you spend a few minutes analyzing yourself, you can come up with a list of five to 10 topics of strength. Once you’ve set the scene, you can begin getting the ball rolling with your dates.
When I ask people what they like about themselves, they tend to offer up obvious points, like “I’m a good friend,” and “I’m a great lover.” But I also love this question, and this is one of my favorite topics: It really shows people who they are to each
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